Today I sat with Grief author unknown
Today, I sat with grief
There was no noise, no distractions, just me and the weight in my heart.
I thought if I stayed silent long enough, maybe grief would slip away.
But it stayed beside me, patient and still.
I tried to turn my back on it,
hoping it would lose its way.
But wherever I moved, it moved too,
like a shadow I couldn’t outrun.
This wasn’t a game—it was real, and it was heavy.
Born Into Loss- Shadows of Deceased Siblings and Family Journeys of Grief by Sarah Reed Vollmann and Joann M. O’Leary explores the lives of people born after the death of a sibling. Through over 100 interviews, the book shares real stories of how these “subsequent siblings” grow up in the shadow of grief—often feeling pressure to fill a space left behind. It looks at how families cope, how parents grieve while raising new children, and how this loss shapes identity and relationships. This book offers insight and support for anyone affected by sibling loss.
Sibling grief feels like second-hand grief.
It’s often not considered valid as parental grief, but there shouldn’t be a comparison. The same resources should be available for sibling grief and loss.
Losing a sibling leaves a profound emptiness that resonates throughout one’s life. Amidst the pain of grief, there may also be a sense of being overlooked, as the focus may gravitate towards the devastated parents.
When a sibling dies, the memories of childhood, yesterday’s unresolved issues, tomorrow’s plans, and a literal piece of “you” are now gone.
I hope you remember the depth of this loss when supporting a friend after a brother or sister has died.
Ref: Beekle – Trees
Told by a client: I remember the day my brother passed away as clearly as if it happened just yesterday. We grew up side-by-side, sharing secrets, chasing dreams, and diving into endless adventures together. He was more than just my brother — he was my confidant, my co-conspirator, the one who understood me in a way no one else ever could. When he died, it felt like a part of me had disappeared with him. The house grew quieter, the laughter faded, and family gatherings were never quite whole again.